Thursday, May 20, 2010


Obligation:  The act of binding oneself by a social, legal, or moral tie to someone. (From Wikipedia)

Isn't it funny how even the definition feels heavy and full of pressure?  It says, act of binding "oneself".  That means I have chosen to be tie myself to the people and things to whom I feel obligated.  My choice!

So why, may I ask, would I choose this for myself?

Feellings of guilt & shame perhaps?  The aim to be a "good" person?  Because I want everyone to like me?  Because I happened to pick up the phone when I shouldn't have?   What is it that I am trying to make up for?  Why can't I just say no and do those things that I truly WANT to do?

There is a list of things that I do each day that I don't necessarily want to do.
  • Dinner with a draining friend.
  • Calling an acquaintance.
  • Staying to take care of my nieces.  
  • Driving to check on my mom.  
Instead of standing my ground, I relapse, finding myself obligated because I say yes too easy.  It is a jail, locking me into activities and time that I should be spending on myself.  However, have you ever felt SELFISH for saying no?  That's what I feel I think.  That I have no right to say NO to people.  That I owe my time and myself to others for past sins and to pay others back for the things they have done for me in my life.  But, I can't do this anymore.

This is my friend Karen.  She has always been a free spirit. 
Here she is floating off the ground because she is very clear about what she can & cannot do for others in her life.  I want to be like Karen.  She is free!

That is my dream for myself.   I want to fly.  It all starts with honesty and the word No.  I'd be interested to know if you've had this difficulty in life.  What did you do to reduce your obligation to others and listen more to the obligation you've made with yourself?

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