Sunday, January 31, 2010

Samantha July 20, 1997 - January 30, 2010

I'm sad.  Samantha passed away yesterday.  It was my doing, my decision, and I know it was the right thing, but I am so sad.

She hadn't been eating, and it turns out she was jaundice from a problem with her liver.  When we did the ultrasound at the emergency vet, they found her full of lymphoma.  In her spleen, her liver and all of her lymph nodes.  I wonder how long she had been uncomfortable before she started not eating. 

I was able to hold her and love her and tell her stories about when she was a kitten.  I talked to her all about the crazy funny things she had done over the years, all the road trips with me, the flying out of a second story window, the boxing people to protect me.  I sang to her her favorite song "You are my sunshine", and cried and cried and cried.  She died in my arms knowing that she was loved.  As she went I told her over and over "I love you, I love you, I love you."

The apartment doesn't feel right without you here to wake me up for breakfast, to do your flop in bed, to attack my friends.  I got you when I first moved into my own place 13 years ago, you were just a little tiny thing with big paws and a tiny head.  You used to bite my toes when they hung off the bed like they were chew toys.  I loved making you pounce on my hand under the comforter.  You were always a kitten to me.  My baby kitty.  I wish I could've done more to save you.  I wish I could have you with me forever.

I will miss you forever Samantha.  You are my sunshine.

Really stupid video, but the song still kills me....


1 comment:

  1. Jeanne, Jeanne, Bean,

    We are so sad for your loss!!! John and I read your blog and watched the sunshine video and we were in tears! Sammy was a funny wacky, spirited, loving, sweet, sweet Kitty. Whom I know, loved you so much (and vise versa). You guys were buds and there was no getting in between you two! :-)

    We know that she's in Heaven somewhere with the rest of all of our beloved fuzzy ones.

    Thinking of you sweetie always,
    Love Alex & John