She hadn't been eating, and it turns out she was jaundice from a problem with her liver. When we did the ultrasound at the emergency vet, they found her full of lymphoma. In her spleen, her liver and all of her lymph nodes. I wonder how long she had been uncomfortable before she started not eating.
I was able to hold her and love her and tell her stories about when she was a kitten. I talked to her all about the crazy funny things she had done over the years, all the road trips with me, the flying out of a second story window, the boxing people to protect me. I sang to her her favorite song "You are my sunshine", and cried and cried and cried. She died in my arms knowing that she was loved. As she went I told her over and over "I love you, I love you, I love you."
The apartment doesn't feel right without you here to wake me up for breakfast, to do your flop in bed, to attack my friends. I got you when I first moved into my own place 13 years ago, you were just a little tiny thing with big paws and a tiny head. You used to bite my toes when they hung off the bed like they were chew toys. I loved making you pounce on my hand under the comforter. You were always a kitten to me. My baby kitty. I wish I could've done more to save you. I wish I could have you with me forever.
I will miss you forever Samantha. You are my sunshine.
Really stupid video, but the song still kills me....