Thursday, December 2, 2010
I missed you the first moment you left
Tomorrow I will bury my mother. It is unbelievable, and yet somehow, I am ready. We have been prepping for the service & reception all week, and at this point I need to step back and let her go. I spent the past few days looking through photo albums, finding very old photos of her, of us as a family, and creating new albums for the memorial. She was an amazingly beautiful woman. I always thought she looked like a young Grace Kelly. Gorgeous porcelain skin, high cheekbones. I'll post a photo later after the service. I have her ashes in my dining room right now, amongst the photo albums and boxes of her photography. I picked out a card to write her tonight at CVS, and it is probably the last one I will buy her. It is a photo of a little girl with a phone in her hand. I almost started crying in the aisle. I will always want to call her to check on her, to share good news or a new recipe. This experience has been one of the hardest I have ever gone through, from the actual process of death to the planning and arrangements and coordination that have to take place. I am ready for a rest. Tomorrow marks two weeks since I found her on the floor, and a rest is in order. Please send good vibes tomorrow. I can use all the help I can get.