I missed you the first moment you left

Tomorrow I will bury my mother.  It is unbelievable, and yet somehow, I am ready.  We have been prepping for the service & reception all week, and at this point I need to step back and let her go.  I spent the past few days looking through photo albums, finding very old photos of her, of us as a family, and creating new albums for the memorial.  She was an amazingly beautiful woman.  I always thought she looked like a young Grace Kelly.  Gorgeous porcelain skin, high cheekbones.  I'll post a photo later after the service.  I have her ashes in my dining room right now, amongst the photo albums and boxes of her photography.  I picked out a card to write her tonight at CVS, and it is probably the last one I will buy her.  It is a photo of a little girl with a phone in her hand.  I almost started crying in the aisle.  I will always want to call her to check on her, to share good news or a new recipe.  This experience has been one of the hardest I have ever gone through, from the actual process of death to the planning and arrangements and coordination that have to take place.  I am ready for a rest.  Tomorrow marks two weeks since I found her on the floor, and a rest is in order.  Please send good vibes tomorrow.  I can use all the help I can get.