I was cleaning out my Google Reader tonight, after much ado around here, and I came across this song on Doobleh-Vay. It's an Indigo Girls song called "Mystery" I've never heard before, but beautiful. There is a great line in it about summer starting to give up its fight. Have a listen, and then come back.
I both hate and love this time of summer (when she starts to give up the fight). I started my new job this past Monday, and I realized how I truly squandered my time as an unemployed this summer.
So now I'm trying to fit so much into these last weeks, especially on beautiful summer weekends. I'm frantic. I called my Dad earlier in the week to see if I could convince him to swim with me today. It was a hot and humid day, but driving the hour down to see him, I had all my windows open, the sunroof unfurled. The wind blew through my hair, and I let the sun bake my skin all the way down. It was wonderful even being in Cape traffic on a summer Saturday.
The air at the beach was cooler, less heavy, and the breeze both chilled and warmed us. We sat in our chairs, our feet playing with the sand in front of us, building sand castles and moats without using our hands. Talking, enjoying the pace of a relaxed afternoon as the golden hour began.
Today, I let myself float in the rough blue ocean. The tide was coming in with cooler water, and a current that carried me. I bobbed and dove, feeling free, feeling the water clean my skin of worry. In water, I am weightless. I put my head under water and listen. No sounds. Just peace. Quiet. I have no pain. There is nothing else to do. There is no hurry. But still, I'm hurried. I know I won't be able to float for long.
Summer is giving up her fight, but I am not ready to lose...